Movie

Went and saw Love Actually with C-bob tonight and overall it was an OK movie. I don't know, I think parts of it were good and worth watching but other parts just seemed too sappy and weird. I'm not good at movie reviews but this is not a movie I would want to see again. I thought I might actually like this movie and I'm sure other people will, it's just in my current state of mind and all that, it wasn't that entertaining.

After that we went to ShopKo and walked around but that was pretty uneventful.

It looks like hitting lessons have to go on hold again, what joy. This time I seem to have done something to the muscles in my chest and side, around the rib area (on the right side for those interested). Anyway, it's been getting worse for awhile now and I think it's time to just stop and rest again. My body is just falling apart over this but I'm probably not taking the precautions, such as stretching, as I should be. I'm not sure why but I tend to forget the stretching part because I'm so focused on learning the hitting. I only have two lessons left but I'm not sure when I will be able to get those done. I have to call tomorrow and cancel for this week and basically leave it all hanging until further notice. This seems like it may take longer time to heal up than the arm but I just have to wait and see. I love setbacks, sure, I love setbacks. They just further remind me that, while the road may be bumpy and full of detours, it will eventually get me to my destination, if I'm patient enough.

Alright, enough from me, peace!

Picture

This is a picture of a snow storm from last winter. I didn't get any pictures of the current snow even though I really should have. I can't actually find my camera, sadly. Anyway, I thought the blog needed something to break up the text entries a bit.

*Yawn*

I am decidly not a morning person. I can get up in the morning but I don't have to like it, right?

I went to bed around 12:30 last night but didn't actually fall asleep until at least 3:00. It was a long night and not productive or anything good like that. I'm trying to make a decision or two and that kept me awake thinking about it.

I have to be somewhere in half an hour but I am pretty close to being ready to leave. I'm debating coming back home and sleeping more but I don't know if I will. I'd like to watch Finding Nemo again before taking it back and play the games again. They aren't due back until midnight tonight anyway.

Doing something fun tonight with C-bob, either bowling or seeing a movie. Just depend on what we decide and feel like doing when she gets home from work. I don't know right now which I feel like for sure, but I think I'm leaning more towards the movie. Although I have not been bowling in a while and that sounds like fun too. I guess we all just have to wait and see.

Gift Giving

So I did end up finding something to do tonight, even if it was by myself. I went to ShopKo and walked all over the store to only end up finding nothing to buy. I have yet to buy any presents for anybody and it's frustrating. Sometimes I think I'm trying to hard to find the perfect gift for people and as I was getting ready to leave, I actually thought "No one needs to give me anything, because that way it makes it easier for me to not give them anything."

It's not that I don't want to give people gifts, I really do, but this year I feel really disconnected from my family and I have no idea what people want or need. I was positive that I wasn't going to even do cards this year, but now I'm not so sure. I got one in the mail today from Sheri and it was really cute. I'm not really good at the card thing in general because sadly I don't have exact addresses for a lot of my friends. I use email and IMs as my primary means of communication, so maybe I will do something via that. It seems more like something I would do anyway.

So back to this gift giving problem. I have some vague ideas of what might work for people, but then I think about the fact that most of the people I know don't really need any more material possessions. I know that I don't. I own a lot of things that I never even use and that only take up space. Maybe I'll just take my family out to dinner and call that good. We can go somewhere kind of nice and I can pay. That way I'm still giving them something they enjoy, we spend quality time together and there isn't something sitting around taking up space and never being used. I got my parent's a DVD player last year and I swear I use it more than they do, and I don't even live there. Oh well, it really should be about the thought and not the gift.

Another thing I am doing this year is giving people my time. I am willing to help out with tasks or whatever people need, as a gift to them. For one friend I am going to go over and help rearrange furniture at their place, once they figure out what they want to do. These things seem to work well. I'm learning that sometimes gift giving is truly more than buying something at a store and wrapping it in a nice package.

Web Ad

I saw an ad on Yahoo today that was saying how "the best part of having a website, is finishing it." That made me think about the fact that anyone that really knows, builds, runs or has anything to do with a website knows finishing is impossible. At least it is for me. I have spurts of ambition though. I can go months without making any changes to the site at all and then one day I decide I need to redesign the entire layout and content. Who knows, that time may very well be coming again.

I used to do this website for a group I was in back in college and I remember spending an entire winter break working on the site. I thought it was so awesome, and it really was, for 1997. Man, I can't believe I've been using the internet and computers for basically my whole life. It's just weird really. I'm starting to feel like, though, it's getting a little old. Well not old, but I wonder what I'm missing out on in life by spending all this time looking at websites and just sitting here. I think maybe I need to start thinking about other things to do. Try to limit my computer time or whatever. But then when I think about it, what is there really to do? Watch TV? That hardly seems like a solution. I could read more or something like that.

I think next week is finals week around here for all you poor college friends of mine. I wish you all the best of luck on your tests.

I'm feeling odd tonight, mainly because it's Friday night and I have nothing better to do than clean. I need to clean but it's Friday night! I keep sitting here trying to think of something to do but just end up drawing a blank. I need to get this place clean again so I can have people over. I have not had a party in a long time. I think I'll just take out the trash and go to Walgreen's. *twirl finger*

I suppose it could be worse, I could never have anything to do with anyone every night. I should be happy I get to do things more often than not. Still, even that doesn't alleviate my boredom.

Angie Aparo

I don't know why, but I found a song by him this morning "Hush" and now I'm listening to all his songs on his website. I really like his voice and the songs are really great, imo.

It's odd, I don't usually share my music preferences here, well, not very often anyway. I used to more than I have been lately. Well, you all know baseball took over my brain so it's sometimes hard to branch out off of that. ;)

So if you want to check it out, go here - Angie Aparo

On being late

So I'm not normally a person to show up to things late, but it happens sometimes and you can't really do anything about it but live with the consequences, right?

I signed up to use the cage at ST at 6:30 tonight but I didn't end up getting there until 6:45 due to traffic and bad road conditions. I didn't leave any later than normal, at least, I don't think I did but that was probably the problem. At least I've learned something about better planning and all that. Anyway, I get there and get to have the following conversation with my esteemed instructor:

Him: What time were you supposed to be here?
Me: 6:30
Him: And what time is it now, do you suppose?
Me: 6:45
Him: Ya know, I once heard that if you are on time, you are late... blah blah blah, stuff about being on time.

Anyway, I was all mad about the traffic and about sliding around on the ice so this just furthered my frustration. He said he was just joking, and I'm sure he was, but it was just a little annoying. I just went into the cage and hit and he left after about 5 minutes anyway.

I also think I went to HyVee, Walmart and Target in the span of less than an hour, but not with out stopping home between each run. It was a fun evening.

I finally watch Finding Nemo and I have to say, it's really cute and sad and happy. It is surely a Disney movie and I wouldn't mind seeing it again. The funniest part is the seagulls though and one other part that I can't remember right now. If you haven't seen it, I would suggest seeing it because it is really good.

Thursday!

Today is Thursday.

I really don't know where the week went but I guess that's just how it works. Time keeps on ticking.. ticking.. ticking... into the future.

I'm trying to make a plan for the rest of the day, while listening to The Osmonds. I was thinking about going and renting the cage to practice hitting this afternoon. I'm going to call soon and see if there is open time today or tomorrow. I figure what's the point of taking lessons if I'm not going to practice? It's not practical to practice outside, what with the snow and all, so this is really the logical solution. I have the money for it in cash and that seems like a sign to me.

I got a new cubs cap that's waiting for me at my parent's house. I ordered this thing like, 4 months ago, so I don't even remember what it looks like. If I end up over at ST this afternoon, I'll swing by there and pick it up after that. I also need to get some groceries today so I will either do that on my way back from my parent's or later this evening. I still need to watch Finding Nemo too.

8 Weeks

That's it. 8 Weeks. February 7th. Baseball Workout. The draft is on the 29th. That's not that long from now. Not really.

Much work to do. Only 8 weeks.

8 wonderful weeks.

Wow.

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Softball = Lameball

Alright, so I'm a little hyped up and ranting right now but I wanted to post. If anyone here plays and loves softball, that's great and I mean nothing against you at all. These are my personal opinions and are not meant has personal attacks on anyone.

I was looking at the different league rules for softball in Lincoln and found some of the rules angering, to me. Like there is a homerun rule that you can only have so many homeruns. At the lowest level the limit is 1 homerun. Any homerun hit above the limit counts as a foul ball. A foul ball!! If I hit a home run I want more than a friggin foul ball! Why not a ground rule double?? Or at least a single or something. Geez, foul ball, that's so lame. And they have this rule about the ball for co-ed, apparently men and women can't hit the same size softball. The difference is one inch in diameter. 11in vs. 12in. Ugh, it's so lame. So the pitcher has to switch balls based on the sex of the batter.

And in another league, in co-ed, the batting order has to be boy-girl-boy-girl. And if you walk a male batter, he gets a double and the next female batter up can opt to hit or take the base, apparently. What the hell is up with that?? I'm a female, not a baby. Argh.

So right now I'm feeling very angry and upset. If I have to play softball, I want to play real softball, not stupid baby softball. I've been ranting about this for about an hour now. I have to play baseball, it's the only thing worth playing. (My opinion will probably change about this and I will settle down and be more willing to except softball, should that be my only options, but still... ugh)

I played softball for like 10 years, so I know softball. And granted I also know these rules are to make game play fair and fun for everyone, but **** fair and fun!! I want a real sport! *sigh*

Hola

It's odd how many times I come here to do a post fully knowing I really don't have anything to post about.

First, snow update: We got between 6-10 inches of snow. Seems around here it's probably in the 10 in range. There are huge drifts out there and my car is currently under one. I have to get out and clean it off tomorrow, what joy. I love snow though so it makes me happy.

C-bob came over this evening and we watched some new Peanuts special on TV, and it was special alright. I don't know, it was probably one of the worst animated shows I've seen in a long time. Give me the good old Peanuts Christmas, I don't need any of this new fangled junk. It didn't even have a good ending, it just sort of, ended. The only reason I watched to the end was for some kind of happy Peanuts ending, but it fell flat. This is not something I would watch again, it was just there.

After that we played video games, Slugfest 20-03 and NCAA Football 2002. We really didn't know how to play the football game and I only have it because it came with the playstation 2, but we still found a way to have fun with it. I still don't think falling down should be an option for your quarterback. That just seems wrong to me, I'd be all ready to go into a sprint down field and bam, he'd fall over. What a joke. I don't think it will be up there as a favorite game to play though.

After that I've basically been sitting here cleaning my bat and waiting until I'm tired enough to give in and go to bed. Tomorrow I am planning on writing my poem for class and watching Finding Nemo. If there's time, I'm going to play some more video games too. I rented SSX 3 and GTA Vice City. I have not played GTA at all on the console, though I have played GTA 3 (?) on the PC. SSX 3 isn't bad, but I really want to play 1080 Avalanche for Gamecube but Hollywood's copy was rented. 1080 was one of the main reasons I wanted an N64; I really love that game.

Now for the required baseball part of my post. I only have two hitting lessons left and this leaves me a bit melancholy. I really enjoy going to this every week and seeing the guys and just having fun there. I think it might work out if I take a bit of a break but maybe still go in and rent the cage to get some BP. Then later I can think about doing another session of lessons, once what I've learned this time through has had a chance to sink in and I'm ready to up my potential. Seriously though, sometimes I just want to go there and hang out, chat with the guys and what not.

Wow, so I really did find things to write about. I guess that's just how it is with me. Put me in front of a blank blogger post and away I go. Look for another audio post coming soon!

SNOW!

It's winter around here now because it's snowing outside!! I love snow!

I was wondering last night if it was going to actually snow or not because usually the predictions fall through this early in the season and it just rains. But it's snowing really hard out there and blowing around and it's so awesome. This is one time where not having a job or obligations is great because I can actually enjoy watching it snow. I rented movies and games last night with the hopes that I could sit around, watch it snow and stay inside enjoying movies and games. I'm happy! :)

Questions

My mind is good at coming up with questions but not very good at finding the answers.

I wonder, if you put questions out into the void, will someone answer them? I'm tired now and I'm probably just letting my mind run and see what's going to happen.

I went out driving tonight, for about an hour it turned out, just to clear my head. My mind is bogged down by thoughts of what I want and what I perceive as forth coming changes. I guess deep down inside I'm afraid of being alone. I spend so much of my time alone any more that I'm really getting tired of it. I know that alone time is good but everything works better in moderation.

So I drove around and thought about the things that I want and the things that I need. I have put a pretty tall order on the table for whatever the spirits out there that control life and I really am hoping for the best.

This is simply a rehash post of my Christmas Wish post from earlier. All those things, I still want those things but this is something I have to put into words, no matter who reads them.

I need someone to love and be loved by in return. I need someone that wants to spend their life with me, someone that doesn't care what we do as long as we are with each other. Someone that will just call out of the blue just to find out what I'm up to. Someone that can enjoy some of the same things I do but has their own interests too. Someone to have silly arguments with, someone to share all of life with.

Maybe I think that by typing that out over and over, that maybe some how I can will it into existence. I know what I want, now if I could just find a way to get it.

It's like a giant weight to carry around. This massive need that I can't seem to fulfill. Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight. Please bring someone into my life, soon, I need them very much right now.

Alright, enough of this, thanks for reading, if you still are. Don't cry Flying Ace, everything will be alright. I promise.

Hitting!

So I had my fourth hitting lesson tonight and I think it went really well. We worked pretty much the whole time off the tee with the exception of a throwing/catching drill thing. I'm learning more and more about the proper mechanics of the swing and all that fun stuff. Only 2 more weeks and then I'm not sure when I'll be doing lessons again. It's going to be kind of sad because we are just now getting comfortable with each other and it's becoming a lot more fun.

When we were doing the catching drill, one time the ball hit my thumb and it hurt but I decided to just suck it up and not be a girl about it. It made the rest of the hitting a little fun as there is now a bruise on the inside of my thumb. Oh well, that's just how it goes. Just gotta suck it up and live with it.

It's supposed to start snowing soon so I need to run to the store and stock up on important things, like soda. I like soda. Mmm.. soda.

After lessons we went to IHOP and we even had the same waiter again. Seems like we might have a new thing to do. Go us. :)

Alright, gotta run to the store, have a good evening all!

More Challenges

I spent the day doing laundry today and hanging out with my family. I tried to get in some hitting practice, but my tee is broken now and it won't stay standing. My dad is going to see what he can do but for the time being, I have no tee to hit off of. I played awhile with the throw-back and started to see some improvement with my aim. It also helped that I could see it. Then I spent some time throwing the ball up and catching it. All and all, not too bad really.

Came home to some news I wasn't really wanting to hear. As it turns out, the league we were going to play with next summer, NABA, has decided to join this other amateur baseball league in town and form some kind of super league. The thing is there will now be a 30 and over league and most likely an 18 and over league too. The way it sounds like this will work is that in early February, anyone interested in playing goes to this gym place for a "Spring Workout", which is basically when the team managers all look at how well everyone plays and then at the end of February there is a draft. I was not expecting this to be this complicated. I'm a bit worried about even being ready for February, what the reaction will be if I go and all those wonderful things that go along with complications.

I guess in some respect I'm disappointed that things are changing and I don't know where I fit in with all these changes. I think I can just look at it as one more thing that I have to attack and take care of, if I want to achieve my dream. The urge to give up is pretty high right now though, but I think that would just be natural when you are faced with a task as large as I feel like I'm facing. I just may have to accept the fact that baseball just might not be played by me this coming summer, but there is always the summer after that. Plus I can likely get on a city softball team in the mean time. It doesn't mean I'm giving up, but rather extending the time period.

Hitting lessons tomorrow should be interesting. I have a lot of work to do before I'll be ready to play on a team and I guess I just have to accept that and get to work. I really don't know quite what to think. I suppose I could just go in February anyway and see what happens. Even if I don't get on a team, at least that will be over with and the next year I can just go again and keep going until I make it at doing what I want to do.

Still, I'm kinda sad right now.