Went a wandering...

So I got pent up and decided to hit the road tonight in a somewhat aimless manner. Brought C-Bob along as my co-pilot and left for uncertain destinations. First we hit the gas station to fuel up my tank, it was getting kind of low. C-Bob wanted to get a slushie, but that gas station apparently didn't have any, the bastards. After that we drove for a little bit and I decided to stop at HyVee, but a different one then the one I normally go to. Got tea rolls, zingers, Reese's pieces and this weird sprite drink. The sprite was like, fruit flavored or something, it was Tropical Sprite Remix and it was bad, as far as I'm concerned. I took one drink and gave the rest to C-bob, who says it tastes like "liquid skittles."

After the HyVee experience we started driving down 70th street, unsure of where to go. We came near another HyVee and it was suggested (then dismissed) that we go to all the HyVee's in town. We could have done that but decided against it. Instead we drove all the way out to the new "preppy" wal-mart. This place is huge, and scary. Why would anyone want to shop in a store that big?? I was scared, but I hadn't been there yet, and the car seemed to want to go there, so that is where we went. It wasn't that bad, it is a lot cleaner then "ghetto" wal-mart, and stuff isn't piled all over the place, but it's still a wal-mart. We didn't buy anything and drove back.

The drive back had only one small event, I almost hit a cat. I swear there is no way I could have missed it but somehow I did, as it ran the rest of the way across the street. Granted, I may have winged it, but it didn't look like it. That is one lucky cat, down a life and all that. It was kind of scary to have something run in front of your car, but we lived.

Now I'm enjoying a glass of Boone's and eating a nice zinger, all is well. Tomorrow I am going to my parent's for most of the day. Get dad's new computer set up, hopefully and then go out for dinner. It should be survivable.

Yo yo yo..

I should update my blog.. so I will. Still not sure what to do with the stupid computer that isn't working. I messed around with it but I think I made it worse, oh well. I was able to get the iPaq up and working plus I got the wireless network card to work. So I can use it on the wireless network, if I want to. I am going to take it to work and try it out on monday to see if it would help at work. It is fun to play with anyway. I cant use it to blog though, which is too bad, I suppose I could use email to blog, that might work.
Went to HyVee and got food, didn't die, which is good. I got a lot of sleep last night so I am doing really well now. Made chicken nachos for dinner and other than that nothing to eventful has gone on.
Helped someone with his resume and cover letter today, at least I hope I was helpful. I like helping people, it's something I can do.
Not sure what to do now, hmm... maybe some Halo or Zelda.

*sigh*

Had to give up, it just isn't working, I don't know why and it's frustrating. It could have worked, easily, but no, no we can't have that. So no linux for me as of yet. I am too tired to keep working on it. I found the manual, but the one page I needed wouldn't show up, so that figures. I don't really know what is wrong with it, it just disapoints me. Seems I have a lot of cool stuff that would be cool if it actually worked, but for some reason, something has to be wrong with everything. *kicks stuff*

Update

The motherboard is made by MSI, it's the MS-6309. Finally found an online manual so I can at least try to figure this problem out. Nothing is ever easy.

Linux..

So I decided tonight, after I figured out how to burn the isos, that I was going to install Linux on my unused computer system. This was going to be a server of some kind, probably file server, but it has random networking problems in windows so I'm tired to messing around with it and really want to play around with Linux. Anyway, so went to Best Buy with Lee-sur and C-Bob to pick up a KVM switch and an extra power strip, (i was running out of outlets). Now this other computer, offical name "Chico", nicknames: "Stupid" "Won't Get on the Network" and "SFC" amongst others, is having issues with displaying. It only worked once where it actually displayed through the KVM and I thought it was posting, but now I'm not sure. I can't remember who made the motherboard, otherwise I'd go checkout what the error lights mean and know exactly what the problem is. I'm pretty sure it just hates me. Anyway, I thought I should blog about this. On another notes, apparently I figured this would be even more fun if I was drinking, go me!

Printer...

grr... I am going to take this printer up to the roof and throw it off. It is a lovely LaserJet III with a random smattering of problems. The frist problem, what brought it to me, was a horrid grinding and banging noise. This was caused by a broken gear, and that was easily replaceable, in and out, banging gone. That would be perfect. But no, now it is giving me a "13 Paper Jam" error, but there is no paper jam, and it has not even tried to pick up paper. This means a communication problem somewhere and I have to track it down. So I have taken it apart and put it back together 5 or 6 times now. Just when I think I have it fixed, "13 Paper Jam" blinks. This printer has taken a chunk off my finger, scratched and cut my hands, and today it shocked me. I just had to vent my frustration before leaving, as it is now time to go home and I can just worry about this pile of printer on Monday.

*raises eyebrow*

Mornings never seemed so early before. So, according to the weather forcast, a substance much like water is supposed to fall from the sky today. I don't get it. I am scared.

Meh, have to go.

hmm..

I really have nothing to say but I felt like I should blog. Had dinner and the Ville Grille and then ice cream at Zestos. It was cool. *shrug*

Amongst the living..

I think I can safely say that I know feel that I am back amongst the living. That NyQuil stuff is like magic in a bottle. Got a lot of sleep, although it wasn't great sleep it helped a lot. I'm still a tiny bit run down, but I think I have turned the corner for the better and should be back to normal real soon. Planning on going to work tomorrow and getting back into that groove. Lots of things to do, etc, can't stay out of the game too long. I just have learned that sometimes you can push it and make things worse, as I apparently did yesterday. Oh well, I will use this as a lesson for today and just take it easy, watch TV, play games or something. I am almost out of shampoo so I may make a daring trip to a nearby store to get some. And light bulbs, one in the bedroom burnt out and I realized that I don't own any.

It's almost noon, so I think I will have some lunch. Some nice placid soup sounds nice. I can't wait until I am ready to eat real food again though, I kind of miss it, in a way. Oatmeal and soup are only good for so long but pretty soon you want something with substance, like pizza and what not. Oh well, all in good time my friends.

They are painting the apartment downstairs today, I can tell because it sounds like paint rollers on the walls. That is what probably woke me up but that was like, 20 mins ago, so still not bad. I got MercX up and running again and he's pumping out tunes that block out the noise from downstairs, so that's good.

Well, as I have nothing more important to say, Peace!

NyQuil

This is the best stuff ever. I have never had it before, not the full form, I have had the cough stuff. It is very good. I feel tired and floaty and nice. I am ready to sleep. I wanted to blog so I could see what is happening to my mind. C-bob, the coolest person ever, took me to HyVee and I got nyquil, milk, crackers and soup with dinosaur noodles. There was some guy that bought like a million frozen meals and chicken pot pies, it was surreal. Anyway, I'm gonna sleep.

grr..

Sometimes the comments thing is there... sometimes it isnt... i dont know why but it angers me. I suppose I shouldnt get too upset, since it was free and all, but still.... geeez.....

blah

Went to MoJava with C-Bob, it's her bday, (Yo, Happy Birthday!). Had a double cappucino and had it explained to me what it was, "... it's not a sweet cappucino...".. really? so, it's like, a real cappucino??. geez. I have had cappucinos before. Anyway, I also got a cookie and ate about a fourth of it before it being too much. The walk took a lot out of me and probably wasn't wise, but I was sick of being here. Now I feel crappy again. Oh well.

Weds...

So, seems one more day home for me. Here is the deal, I am going to try to sleep most of the day, hoping that will take care of it. The plan is to stay away from the computer for the most part. Gonna sleep now.

Sleep...

eludes me. I wrote some stuff for this post but deleted it. *shrug* It wasn't very good.

Unknown...

I am full of unknown. Mainly I do not know what tomorrow will bring. I would like to go back to work, but my energy level is still quite low. I have trouble sleeping that I figure is somehow related. So basically I'm really tired, but awake. I have my laptop hooked up and online, so right now I am laying in bed typing this. It is a nice thing to have, I suppose. Maybe it is distracting me from resting, even though I feel like I am resting. I am very restless and out of sorts with the world though. I really don't like being on the sidelines, I want to get back in, the sooner the better. The pain and pressure in my head makes my eyes water, I just wish it would go away. I think I can probably make it to work, but I'm not sure what good I would be once I got there. I just don't know if I can handle either one, but I have to decide at some point. I need to wean myself from the drugs though, before they become more of a problem. They don't really help anymore anyway, so what's the point of taking them? (I don't mean the antibiotics, btw, I will keep taking those, not taking those would be idiotic on my part). I think I will wait and see how I feel in the morning before making a decision. It is odd to me how I can seem so well and normal in type, but if I were to try and talk about stuff, this would not be working. I think since with type I can take more time to think it out, then it works better. I have problems processing things I read though, but I just read the again and sometimes it will click. Hard to do that when someone is talking to you. What this means is that for work, answering help desk questions over the phone would be taxing for me and probably not helpful for the client.

It comes down to one simple thing, my health has to come first. I have to force myself to realize that and not push too much too soon and have problems because of it.

On a different note, Eric at work is going to be a father soon. His wife was due May 1 but they are going to induce labor early as there were minor complications and the baby was at full term. So by midnight tomorrow he should be a brand new father. I wish them all the best.

Peace.

Not dead..

just tired. Meds don't seem to last as long anymore, but the pain is not as bad as it was. It's more of a dull ache now then a sharp pain. Been drinking fluids and what not. Solid food seems to be a go again too, which is a nice change from soup. Not sure about tomorrow, depends on how I sleep and how I feel in the morning. Just wanted to make sure people know I am in fact alive.

Worry and time...

I have lost all concept of time, I have realized. My days are now broken down into, awake, asleep, drugged up but awake, or drugged up and asleep. I suppose this is why it may seem odd at first that I am awake at midnight, but I cannot sleep, for various reasons, and find myself awake and odd. Odd in that my brain is messed up or something. I have grown tired of talking about being sick but that is about all that dominates my days right now. I suppose since this is my blog, then I am allowed to talk about whatever I want. No one has to read it. Althought, I like that people do read it, makes me feel good. I try to keep my self from going from talking about not feeling well to a full out self-pity party. I don't like pity. I don't mind sympathy, I mean, who doesn't? But I do not like pity, the aww, it's so bad that you are sick, blah blah. I don't need that. Well, I mean I don't mind if people wish me well and want to know about how I'm doing, it's the other stuff. I don't know how best to explain it. I think my biggest fear or whatever is that people won't believe that I'm actually sick, when I am. I have no idea what is fueling this fear, it's just I want to get well as much as people want me to get well. I am trying to learn that it takes time. I am impatient. I want to be well now, but if I don't slow it down, I won't get better as soon.

I don't know where this stuff is coming from, I probably shouldn't be blogging right now as nothing I type makes much sense or matters much. (what's new about that though?) I am weary and tired, run down and the whole lot but not sleeping. I slept earlier but as seems to happen at night, the overwhelming symptoms seem to prevent a relaxing sleep. I don't know what to do about it as drugs are not a choice, mainly because I don't want to overdose. The drugs only help for the first hour or so, but then wear off and I am back to being miserable.

I need to learn to cope with this and just focus on getting better and not worry about things I cannot control. I have to have faith in other people and trust that things will get done even if I'm not there. I need to let go of my ego trip I guess. I should be able to be sick and not worry about things like work. Why worry about them? I can't control anything and it does not help me get better faster. I need to really focus on getting better, but my mind is really hard to turn around. I wish I could just shut that part down for a while, just go into a stupor and forget work even exists, until I feel better and can handle it. So yea, I need to not talk about work for another, 24 hrs. I'm going to do that, I am going to forget about work entirely. It is unhealthy to worry about something that I can't do anything about. Get better, that is my only goal. Get better. Get better, soon.

Effort..

so i pulled all my energy to check the mail and nothing was there.... *sigh*

Not sure how long this recovery is going to take. I was feeling ok this afternoon around 2.. but then at some point in there, about 4 ish or so.. I kept passing out, or falling asleep really fast, whatever... it was strange and not good, most likely... so I think taking it easy is best.

Not much else to say, um.. the comments thing is gone, no idea why... well I have an idea.. but I'm to tired to figure it out and fix it. Later I guess.

Yesterday Update

so it seems to me that I should let people know what happened yesterday in more detail.. as it seems to interest people, rather than disgust them, as I had feared. The reason I went to linc-care... when I got up yesterday, I was still feeling crappy, but not horrible... but then my ear started feeling weird, itchy and stuff... and turns out.. my ear was bleeding, from deep inside it... not like a cut or somthing. So this is why I went to linc-care.. and they gave me drugs. Which should start working any time now.... but now you all know... the rest of the story.

Drugs...

Hopefully these things are making me better, but they are kinda tripping me out. Didn't go to work today, been sleeping, probably go back to sleep soon. Making juice, since I should probably drink something. I may try eating at some point today as that seems like the right thing to do.

(See... not dead C-Bob)

Wireless

Got the wireless network set up now, it is nice. I can now lay on the living room floor, watch tv and be online.... hmmm.... maybe I should go outside sometime...... *shrug*

chicken soup..

right now... this is the most perfect food... I seem to have found my otherwise normal good mood, so I'm pretty happy. I still don't feel perfect, but I feel like I'm not going to die now... always a plus. I'm trying to decide what to do today. I think a quick nap and then try setting up the wireless network, that would be something to do... something I've been wanting to do for awhile. I'll let you guys know how it goes.

Good stuff...

saw the nice doctor at Linc-Care and it turns out, it's a sinus infection go wild. So I got antibiotics and told to rest, take OTC drugs etc. It's good to know that it was something easy and treatable and that I will be feeling well soon enough.

Good Morning...

well I'm having a good morning.... ok.. not really... anyway... I won't go into details but I am on my way out the door to go to Linc-Care (after hours doctors office thing).. I will update later.

angry post...

I'm really mad about something... hell if I know what it is.. but I thought I would post to get this down on record. I am mad because this sucks... I do not want to feel like this anymore.. no more. It's wrong. I don't want to be sick or feel sick or whatever the hell it is anymore. This is so... argh... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....

ok.... there.. that was .. something... not .... i know.. i should sleep... sleep would be good.....