Looking Back

I have been reading through some old blogs, not my own, but of other people I know. It is a strange thing to realize how much people have changed in time. Reading through someone's old blog entries really starts to make you see the points in which their lives changed and made them who they are today. The past triumphs and failures are still there for the reading, for those people that keep archives and have for a long time.

I am feeling more and more reflexive this morning and the more I read the old blogs, the more I missed aspects of those times. I miss the late night chats with everyone, I miss the phone calls and audio chats. Do you remember the audio chats? Those were crazy, because you had to take turns talking or no one would get heard. And staying up late into the night playing that crazy Quiz Quiz game. No one ever wanted to get eaten by the alligators, and that little running quiz game was fun.

I don't know why it all had to change and end but I can see where the feelings became mixed. It was hard for me to have been so involved in a community like that. What started out as simply a job to make some extra money turned into a whole crazy life for me. When they took the job away, that's when the feelings went south. It was too hard to remember that I would never have that kind of job again. I was fully into the swing, things were starting to go great but the website itself became tarnished and now, I can barely go there any more without cringing. It is so not the place it once was.

I pulled myself away from that life. I pulled out and left no forwarding address or even a good closing remark. One day I just stopped opening AIM, stopped being around. There is no good explanation for it, and I don't really think it matters any more. I am starting to pick up the pieces now. Starting to regain a life complete with friends, baseball games and parties. I am fully ready to take a deep breath, extend my arms and go for life. I don't want to sound all, up-with-people hippie happy about it, but I feel like I am finally ready to be me again.

I have to say a big thank you to all my friends that were able to put up with me and welcome me back as if nothing had gone strange. I think there are big things in all our futures, and I want to be there with you guys when you reach them. I am committed now to being a much better friend than ever before. I am starting to see my short comings and resolve now to fix them and work on things. I want everyone to feel like they can talk to me about anything, that I will be the supportive, and sometimes goofy, friend that helps you through the day.

So now that my personal self love fest is over, and half of you are chestering all over the place, we shall return to our normally scheduled blog......

So I have to go to the store tonight........... *trails off on purpose*