Hello..

So I was thinking more about things and I realized something, so maybe things don't go the way I want, but that doesn't mean the whole world is over. It just means I have to adjust and make changes and go on with life. I mean it's not like anything truly major happened, I was just really tired and still emotionally wrecked from the whole layoffs and whatnot. Oh well, I'm building character, right?

I think I have come to the realization that I am not where I thought I was in life. I think maybe I'm pushing too fast through my current period of "self awareness." I need to give it more time and to focus more on myself right now. I think that I was really at the point where it was like I had made a few choice observations so then I must be done. Well that is hardly true. I have no real goals to attain and no real look at the future right now. I used to have this plan about where I would be in 5 years, that was something I came up with 3 years ago. I realize that I am not anywhere near those goals and I'm not sure I even want those things anymore. Basically, more me time is in order. But this doesn't mean I want to sit at home all night and talk to myself. I am starting to really enjoy going out and hanging out with my friends. I need to expand my social circle, make new friends and really just go out and enjoy myself and not worry about stuff.

I think the lesson is to take everything at face value, because the chances are very high that that is what it all really means. I am going to just keep on being me and whatever comes my way, cool. All I need to figure out now is how a person goes about expanded that social circle. I need to get over my inner shyness to really accomplish that. I seem to set up criteria on other people before I will really let them know me. I am just an internal type person, I like to think about things for a long time before acting. I like to have plans set but at the same time I also enjoy going with the flow.

This is my life, so I have to be the one that makes it worth living, no one else can do that.